Old Stuff
Volcano (1997)
Directed by Mick Jackson
Everyone's favorite prick, Tommy Lee Jones, is back in this Irwin Allen rip-off disaster flick. Common sense flies out the window as he battles a volcano with a garden hose in downtown Los Angeles. Ellen DeGeneris' gal-pal, Anne Heche, plays an equally dopey volcano expert. The lava that spouts from the La Brea Tar Pits looks so real that it's a detriment to the story. The potentially lethal hot stuff is treated like any foam-latex movie monster, harmless unless it touches you. Why the heroes don't burst into flame or at least smoke as they stand mere inches from molten rock is a mystery. The movie bottoms out with the laughable proposition that to fight the volcano (like it's even possible to fight a volcano), the racially diverse denizens of Los Angeles unite. Can you imagine what a real volcano would do to LA? It would make the Rodney King riots look like an egg roll before a banquet. It also would be a more interesting and relevant story with a message: deal with your problems now before a disaster makes them overwhelming. -- Rating: $1.01
Tom Graney -- copyright Hollywood Outsider 1997