Old Stuff
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Directed by Rob Cohen
One of the most disappointing developments of the past ten years has been the transformation of action films into mainstream wannabe blockbusters. In the good old days, you could count on at least one or two scenes of totally gratuitous nudity or over-the-top violence to entice the action fan to the movie house. With that in mind, "The Fast and the Furious" hit the theaters last year sporting a PG-13 rating. Something fast and/or furious should definitely be rated "R". Notice that "Roller Ball" recently opened with the more child friendly PG-13 tag as well. What the ding-dong? These films should not be made for the kiddies. I wouldn't let my kids (if I had any) watch "Race with the Devil", "The Road Warrior" or "The Terminator". If they wanted to see these flicks then they would have to do what I did when I was growing up -- go to my friend's house where his alcoholic parents didn't give a damn what we were watching! It's important to teach kids to be resourceful.
"The Fast and the Furious" has basically the same plot as "Point Break". The story follows pretty-boy Paul Walker (instead of Keanu Reeves) as an undercover cop who is trying to infiltrate a gang of drag racers headed by Vin Diesel (instead of Patrick Swayze) in L.A.'s street-racer (instead of surfer) subculture. The reason for the covert investigation is a string of daring truck jackings (instead of bank robberies). The two films are very similar in feel but "Point Break" was done in a more interesting way that put you right in the middle of the action with outstanding steadicam work. "The Fast and the Furious" dispenses with the lame plot that bogged down parts of "Point Break" in favor of more straight-out, if standard, action. One notable exception being the point-of-view shot of one dragster as his opponent's car becomes airborne and flips over right in front of him. A fantastic stunt if no CGI was involved and fantastic CGI if it was. Any effect that is hard to detect is a great effect. Another important ingredient of a good car flick is the roar of the car's engines. Think of the chase scene in "Bullet" or "The Road Warrior". The cars in these films are the stars and "The Fast and the Furious" got this right, even if most look like candy colored, Japanese toys. "Point Break" gets the edge, though, with its dog-punting and nude-surfer-chick attack scenes that earned it the necessary "R" rating. Honestly, director Rob Cohen isn't worthy of licking Kathryn Bigelow's boots.
In keeping with my recent habit of being distracted by things that don't have anything to do with anything, has anyone else noticed that Vin Diesel looks like a skinhead version of Adam Sandler on steroids? Also, what kind of name is "Vin Diesel"? You know his real name has got to be something like Dexter Lipshitz. Hey, that's not bad! Beats the hell outta "Tom Graney"! From now on I'll sign my reviews with the snazzier "Dexx Shitz". Notice that I've added an extra "x" to nail home the point that I'm a total asshole... as if there were any doubt.
Anyway, the female characters are pretty much what you would expect in this kind of flick. Michelle Rodriguez plays a member of Vin's "team" and is also his jealous and horny, biffy-shirt wearin', bra n' panty exposing girlfriend. Jordana Brewster is Vin's biffy-shirt wearin' sis. Of course, a romance blossoms between Jordana and undercover-cop Paul Walker and it's this development that is supposed to lend tension to the unfolding story. The rest of the "skanks" in this film are basically the trophies for the speed racers. It's okay because all the guys are skanks, too. It's all a part of the "street racer" subculture, I guess. It's hard for me to admit this but if I were fifteen, I would love this empty flick. But I would've loved it more if were rated "R" because that would mean it hadn't had its balls chopped off. -- Rating: $4.99
Tom Graney -- copyright 2002 Hollywood Outsider